Stay at home Dad - Part 1

After she visited the midwife today for the unpleasantly named 'stretch and sweep', in just a few days my lovely wife will go through the most heroic of experiences for the third time. Once 'baby pedro' (as he's been called since we found out 20 weeks ago that 'it' was a 'he') is born I've decided to give my wife and he a 'week off.' With two busy, energetic and enthusiastic children already in our home I wanted her and the little baby to have several days to get to know each other, get into feeding, 'bond' and have a proper rest.

Which means I've spent most of today thinking about the fact that for the first time in a very, very long while I'll have 7 consecutive days of getting our almost 4 year old and almost 2 year up out of bed, dressed, fed, and then entertained for the entire day. I'm approaching it with a little trepidation - I don't want it to be a week of battles and power plays (makes it sound like a military face off, not a week with my children). I'm also really excited to actually have so much time with them... and most of all being able to increase my appreciation of what it's like to be a stay at home parent. Being a 'work at home dad' means I overhear the conversations and frustrations of guiding, responding to and disciplining two little ones.

I'm not the absent parent I was before I left the busy work of marketing analysis agency work and answering to clients at any time of day. Now that I work from an office at home managing and co-ordinating Wilkinet baby carrier it also means I can pop downstairs for half an hour at lunch, always be home on time, never get caught in the evening commute, do their bedtime routine and on occasions let my wife get out on her own while I mind the kids.

But... it's very different to having the patience needed for a full day of it. I usually have my children 'in small doses' - whereas now I'll get about 12 hours a day. It's going to be a learning experience - and I'm looking forward to it. I hope the little ones are too.

Swaddling wraps

With baby number three arriving in the next week (or so), Helen and I have been making final preparations. She washed our old Wilkinets... given my job we could well have got one of the new baby carriers... but there's something about your first that really has an emotional bond. I was reading through some of the parents comments recently and as one said:

"I won't be having any more children and have passed on virtually all the baby things I accumulated. I haven't passed on the baby carrier - I got so much pleasure out of carrying a child around in it that I'm hoping one day my children will present me a grandchild I can carry in it!" (and because they last so long she probably will be able to).

Anyway... I digress back to preparations. We tried swaddling timothy and found he was a much calmer than Lucy (our first) at bedtime - that might just be his character (he's very laid back) - but I also believe that swaddling made a difference.

The blankets we used for Timothy were too small really - so Helen got some nice flannelet sheets and I put my sewing skills to the test and hemmed them. Having a mum who sewed for years (Sally Wilkins that is) I know the basics. It was a bit wobbly - but I felt very proud of myself and felt like I'd made a contribution (I realise it's small compared to what Helen is doing right now... but it still helped :)

Jungle Walk!

I'm pretty strict about not letting myself drift out of the office (spare room at home)... apart from occasionally when I bounce downstairs to show Helen (better half) an idea for a new baby carrier fabric option or an idea for a new product I want to design!

But recently I have found myself drifting downstairs a few minutes earlier than 5pm on Wednesday and Thursday to catch the last few minutes of Jungle Run before tea-time. It's caught the imagination of the whole family and the other day when trying to distract DD (3 1/2yo) from sitting on head of DS (1 1/2yo) I suggested we play Jungle Run.

(Aside: for the uninitiated... Jungle run is like Crystal maze from the 90s - team of 10yo kids run around 4 challenges collecting monkeys that give them extra seconds in the Monkey temple to win prizes).

So now our table is a maze, our green sofa a jungle and the quickly created pile of cushions in the middle of the floor a dark swamp.

The other day as I headed upstairs for my not-so-long commute to work after lunch Lucy asked Helen if she could play Jungle Run (Helen is 7.5 months pregnant). Helen said she was feeling a bit tired and wondered if she could sit and watch Lucy play... to which my sweet intuitive little girl replied "That's ok mummy... we can play Jungle Walk instead if you like!"

12 months ago I was stuck in an office for up to 70 hours a week - and lucky if I got home once a week to put the kids to bed... now I'm hearing gems of consideration like that.

Twice sick

What makes kids so resilient? There's a poem I read - and can't remember any of it but the basic just of it is how your parents mess you up but then they were messed up in turn. I'm often surprised at how well our kids are turning out in spite of me.

That thought came from a double sick episode last night from Lucy (3 1/2 y.o). I was just about to tuck her into bed when suddenly there was a gag, followed by a cough and then a lot of sick. Surprisingly (??!) the bit of tissue I grabbed didn't look like catching it all so I grabbed her cup of water and held for her to finish in (hope breakfast was finished before reading this).

What surprised me (and got me onto the train of thought) was the way she was so sweet about the whole experience. Instead of the expected wails and sobs it was just 'oh dear, Dave (her teddy bear) is all covered in sick, we better clean him up)... didn't notice her sheet, pyjamas, duvet, pillow (and me!) was in the same situation, just got up and got on with it.

She slept in later (don't worry Timothy was still awake at his usual time of 5:45 to ensure the delights of Bear's big blue house were enjoyed by him and me)... and when she came down stairs she had more sick on her shoulder. She'd been sick in the night and just rolled over because she was still tired (and yes I did feel irresponsible for not having been in tune and instantly at her bedside the moment it happened)! Advantages of working from home meant Helen and I could clean her up, sort Timothy out, and I only ended up being 15 minutes late for work.

So that brought me onto wondering about her resilience. I know I've picked stuff up off my parents - and she already says and does things I see in Helen and I. It's something that happens to all of us. The old 'nature/nurture' debate is an interesting one... if she's learnt (rather than was born with) her laid back attitude to illness it's certainly not from me... I am a bit of a moaner when unwell (and she's very happy to tootle over with her doctor bag to stick a bandage on my tummy).

Anyway, that's all - must get back to doing the Wilkinet baby carrier tasks for the day - happy in the knowledge that my kids are ok (in spite of me).

Hopes and fears

Hopes...

so here we are - the first of any Wilkinet blogs. We've run Wilkinet as a service by family for family since the baby carrier's creation in the early 1980s.

I've wanted to create new content about our baby carriers for a while - a place to share thoughts, comments, experiences... and a place for Wilkinet mums and dads to come back from time to time to add their own feelings too.

I hope it can be somewhere that Sally - the babywearing pioneer that she is - can share some of her views on positive parenting... and realistic parenting too (8 children later she has a little experience on both).

I hope it's a place where I, Gideon - child number 3 of those 8, can escape from my 'work-at-home-dad' spare room office and float away from time to time out of the window and into the big wide world.

Fears
A blog is for life... not just for christmas. I fear that it might not even make it that far (it is September after all - so three until the festivities start).