Stay at home Dad - Part 2

Ahhh.... the beauty of naivety! There was me thinking I'd have the time/energy/presence of mind to actually create a post on a daily basis with a new baby in the home and while being full time dad to the other two children.

I'm sure some people are able to... but for me it was such a culture shock that even lifting my hand to prod the TV control was an achievement after 7pm.

I did take a few notes though (on the back of breast pad boxes/cereal packets and the slightly torn credit card bill that our two year old had chewed on)... so here's summary.

Birthing day (Friday 26th January). 10 minute contractions throughout the day on the 25th... which we were so grateful for... Helen was due to be induced at 9pm on the 25th - we were so glad that it started naturally. My father-in-law had come over to baby sit so we sat around playing monopoly till the early hours and then all managed to get a few hours kip.

Helen woke at 4am with the contractions a little more purposeful... drove to hospital for about 5:00 (after a stop of at 24-hour tesco for 'supplies' - mostly chocolate!). We had the first two at home - but due to a blood test that warned of possible anaemia we had to do hospital birth.

We were checked into a beautiful, calm delivery room and left in peace. Helen had been to hypno-birthing sessions with her friend Becky (another first for us) and as the contractions started getting stronger it was impressive to see the way that Helen would calmly close her eyes and 'go into a zone' while the contraction past).



By complete coincidence we were in a room that had a birthing pool and as things progressed Helen asked if the pool could be filled up. The combination of the warm supportive water and
the relaxation from the hypno-birthing techniques meant the whole experience was very calm, controlled and a positive experience (and no other pain relief was needed). Jay Harry Wilkins was born weighing 9lbs and came home the same day.

The picture is of Jay just a few minutes after he and Helen got out of the birthing pool.

Saturday and Sunday are a bit of a blur... we stayed at home Saturday and just relaxed - older two kids got to watch lots of TV and eat what they liked. I did manage to get to church with the Lucy & Timothy on Sunday - which gave Helen some peace and quiet at home for a few hours.

Then on Monday morning my week had started...

Stay at home Dad - Part 1

After she visited the midwife today for the unpleasantly named 'stretch and sweep', in just a few days my lovely wife will go through the most heroic of experiences for the third time. Once 'baby pedro' (as he's been called since we found out 20 weeks ago that 'it' was a 'he') is born I've decided to give my wife and he a 'week off.' With two busy, energetic and enthusiastic children already in our home I wanted her and the little baby to have several days to get to know each other, get into feeding, 'bond' and have a proper rest.

Which means I've spent most of today thinking about the fact that for the first time in a very, very long while I'll have 7 consecutive days of getting our almost 4 year old and almost 2 year up out of bed, dressed, fed, and then entertained for the entire day. I'm approaching it with a little trepidation - I don't want it to be a week of battles and power plays (makes it sound like a military face off, not a week with my children). I'm also really excited to actually have so much time with them... and most of all being able to increase my appreciation of what it's like to be a stay at home parent. Being a 'work at home dad' means I overhear the conversations and frustrations of guiding, responding to and disciplining two little ones.

I'm not the absent parent I was before I left the busy work of marketing analysis agency work and answering to clients at any time of day. Now that I work from an office at home managing and co-ordinating Wilkinet baby carrier it also means I can pop downstairs for half an hour at lunch, always be home on time, never get caught in the evening commute, do their bedtime routine and on occasions let my wife get out on her own while I mind the kids.

But... it's very different to having the patience needed for a full day of it. I usually have my children 'in small doses' - whereas now I'll get about 12 hours a day. It's going to be a learning experience - and I'm looking forward to it. I hope the little ones are too.

Swaddling wraps

With baby number three arriving in the next week (or so), Helen and I have been making final preparations. She washed our old Wilkinets... given my job we could well have got one of the new baby carriers... but there's something about your first that really has an emotional bond. I was reading through some of the parents comments recently and as one said:

"I won't be having any more children and have passed on virtually all the baby things I accumulated. I haven't passed on the baby carrier - I got so much pleasure out of carrying a child around in it that I'm hoping one day my children will present me a grandchild I can carry in it!" (and because they last so long she probably will be able to).

Anyway... I digress back to preparations. We tried swaddling timothy and found he was a much calmer than Lucy (our first) at bedtime - that might just be his character (he's very laid back) - but I also believe that swaddling made a difference.

The blankets we used for Timothy were too small really - so Helen got some nice flannelet sheets and I put my sewing skills to the test and hemmed them. Having a mum who sewed for years (Sally Wilkins that is) I know the basics. It was a bit wobbly - but I felt very proud of myself and felt like I'd made a contribution (I realise it's small compared to what Helen is doing right now... but it still helped :)